Coming tomorrow!

These last few weeks have been insane for me. Between work and traveling, I've barely had time to sit down. Between last Thursday and Tuesday I went from Cork -> London -> Gothenburg -> London -> Cork -> Dublin -> Cork with work from Tuesday evening to Thursday evening. So today (Friday) has been the first day that I've been able to go out and get some food shopping.

I BOUGHT PUMPKINS!!

Three of them. Beautiful little ones! I'm excited about making them into pies, soups, pasties and curry! It's been more than a year since my last Pumpkin Post. This time I promise to post recipes.

Horizontal Thinking

I'm in bed. It's WAY past my sleep-time but I'm just being stubborn. I feel like a useless lump because I'm ill so I haven't gone for a walk in.... weeks.

But I wanted to make a few notes:

• I am going to Sweden on Thursday and I have not thought about it AT ALL.
• I wrote and posted three letters today.
• I made 15 pairs of key earrings and three Wizard Rock tote bags.
• I have eaten one proper meal in the last three days. If I have not at least lost 2lbs, I will be most put out. It's the least this illness can do for me, really.
• I don't want to teach drama tomorrow.
• I hate spending money on clothes, but I really needed to. 
• And, in the last half an hour, I've actually felt hungry.

It occurred to me about an hour ago that I put pressure on myself to do things that I really shouldn't. I should worry that I miss a day of reading a book, or that I didn't get my room tidied today. Maybe I should make a list of the things that, if neglected, actually merit guilt. (Singing practice, piano practice, walking the dog...)

Pro.

Amy, please be professional. I don't know if you think about it enough in your singing. Be professional. Try not to be too bossy. :S

I think I am professional. It's how I roll? But I won't be running this show, for once.

For the Future.

Just a few thoughts before I turn off the light.

1. ALWAYS be humble. Don't ever do it in a false way. You are the same as everyone else, remember that. In fact, most people are actually better than you at most things.

2. Always be nice. No matter how much someone or something is irritating you to the point of explosion, save it for when you are in private with someone you trust. Get it out, get over it, move on. If you're mean in public it will come back to bite you in the ass.

3. Don't be someone you're not. Just stick to you.

4. Distractions are just that. You don't need to keep up with things on TV or YouTube - they just distract you from more important things.

5. Sing more. Sing always. Don't stop singing.

September Makes Me Insane

September approaches. It's the new school year, and for me that carries more meaning than the start of the calendar year. It's deeply rooted psychologically - the excitement, the new stationary, school bag, putting on your school uniform again. It's also the promise of something stable, secure and familiar - the routine of getting up, going out, doing things and coming home to relax.

OH HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED! Well, to an extent. Now I work in the evenings, so I wake up in the morning and wait for the day to begin at 3.30pm. It does seem that I am learning how to do life on a very gradual basis. For example, this end-of-August I have quite a detailed schedule of work I do from waking up time until about 6pm, after which time I can read, watch TV or Skype my friends. (Mostly the latter.) This is so lovely, and so reassuring and just like the days of yore. In a way, I am a little but wary of going back to the routine of getting up and waiting to work.

At this time of the year I start to get anxious that I'm not fulfilling my potential, and that I'm basically wasting my life because of sheer laziness. This year, at least, I can take a step back and say to myself: 'No. I am working towards goals. I am doing as much as I can.' A lot of this feeling of inadequacy comes down to being distracted. I look after people and let them take my time, even when I have a defined schedule. At least I recognise this now, and I can work towards fixing it.

Does anyone else have a panic in late August/September? Or do you just think: "I WANT NEW STATIONARY!!!" (I think this too....)

Question.

If you love someone very much, and they love something very much, do you think it's your responsibility to engage with the thing? Like if it's a nerdy TV show, books, game, music, whatever?


I do.

Productive

It's weird how I only start to get things done at about 7pm and finish up at 1am. I'm sure these aren't normal working hours.