My Happy Song

I have never told you about my "happy song." It's from the musical "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and was written by the ever-surprising Danny Elfman. For those unfamiliar with the film, it is on of those magnificently craven products of Tim Burton's mind. The story follows Jack Skellington, a skeleton frustrated with the humdrum of living in 'Hallowe'en Town' - a place where three hundred and sixty-five days of the year are devoted to preparing and executing Hallowe'en.

The song is called "What's This?" and it's performed when Jack stumbles across 'Christmas Town.' Jack is completely confused and amazed by all the happiness, colour and light that he sees everywhere.

"Oh my, what now?
The children are asleep
But look, there's nothing underneath
No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare them
Or ensnare them, only little cozy things
Secure inside their dreamland
What's this?"

Basically this song brings across the spirit of an excitable four-year-old who has just been let loose in a toy shop and told he can have whatever he likes. I LOVE THAT! The pace of the song accelerates and lulls depending on what Jack sees and how bewildered and excited he is.

The effect that this song has on me is quite remarkable. It has been known to cause me to just laugh hysterically at the top of my lungs. I don't know why I find it so funny, but I can find myself in floods of tears from singing along. It's especially fun if there are people around who don't know that I am particularly insane. That's always good.

I can't stress enough how wonderful I think this song is. I loved it before I saw "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and I still maintain that it's better to listen to it without the video.

From it's magical and energetic extended introduction to the final line, I LOVE THIS SONG! IT MAKES ME HAPPY!

TRY IT!

Breakdowns.

__..::Part ONE*

Recently music has become about exercise for me. It's hideous. I don't even listen to it anymore - I just plug it in to my brain and use the beat to keep me going. In moments of reflection this makes me feel a bit sick. It's not who I am. But I know I've been avoiding music, just like I've been avoiding something giant and looming and invisible. Some part of me is rotting when I'm not listening to music or singing. Why don't I sing anymore?

__.::Part TWO*

It's so easy to get caught up in all the hype and popularity. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to walk away. I crave "quiet all about me."

__..::Part THREE*

I'm developed a sort of fear of the kitchen, cooking, food, shopping. I'm listening to my inner seventeen-year-old a little bit too carefully. She's the one who taught me silence and self-control and tact. University taught me to forget her for three years. Maybe I shouldn't welcome her back so readily but I envy her ability to write and marvel at everything, alienate people and not sleep.

__..::Part FOUR*

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone? I'm getting old and I need something to rely on."



Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.

Good friends, good times, good music.

So much has happened in the last few weeks. I mean other than cleaning my room. I turned 22 on the 17th of January!

The weeks leading up to that date I was sad and I couldn't quite figure out why. For days I was in a sort of "emo" funk that I couldn't shake, no matter how much I cleaned the kitchen (I clean when I'm upset). But on Wednesday the 14th of January I finally realised that I missed my friends and the knowledge that I would see them on the eve of my birthday was like an amazing beacon of hope.

It sounds lame. It sounds like something out of an American after-school special. But it's true. The thought that in just a few short days I would be surrounded by people I love and who love me was exactly what I needed to get me out of the funk. That's when it hit me how important friends are - and I don't mean MSNing or emailing them. Or even creating a YouTube collab channel with them. I mean actual hugs and smiles and laughter. There's nothing quite like being completely ridiculous with your friends.

So since then I've been a lot more active in arranging meetings with my friends. I'm avoiding the return of the emo funk. Sadly some of my best friends live in the UK and USA but I need to make more time for the ones who live closer and more of an effort to get together with the UK ones. The USA ones will just have to put up with Skype sessions until the summer.

Turn to the Music:
Two of my dearest friends came to visit me from England for my birthday and as we walked into the airport we sang this:

Closing the Door

Every so often I need to hide away from the world. I close the front door and stay in my house, avoiding going outside at all costs. Even to the garden. I think this is day four. I'm not sure why I do it exactly but a recent almost-argument with my father about going out to buy paint has alerted me to the fact. Is it a condition? Have I developed temporary agoraphobia? Well, I'm not sure. Perhaps is the answer. I mean I'm not really afraid, more extremely reluctant. In fact it could just be chronic laziness.

The only thing that detracts from the laziness idea is that I'm shying away from life, even on the internet. Facebook, MySpace and Twitter all give me a hollow feeling and I'm wary of them.

Luckily I know it won't last forever. I know this because it's happened before. In fact it usually occurs at the beginning of a holiday after working for a long time. Well. In a way, I suppose, this is one big life holiday. 

However, I couldn't say that I'm sitting inside all day and watching TV. Quite the opposite. I've been cleaning and tidying and cooking and knitting. I've also been thinking a lot and reading and, of course, listening to music.

I have to admit that so far I don't miss the outside world at all. I mean, it's only been three days, right? I recommend staying in and enjoying leisurely pursuits to anyone who has the time. The Christmas holidays were too mad to get anything done. Now is the time to pick up that book you've been meaning to read for weeks, turn off the TV and have some "me" time.

Turn to the Music:

Well, if you need motivation, or inspiration for any reason try this newish song by Snow Patrol : Take Back This City. (videokindofsucks)

May 12th 2008

So this breath caught in my chest because the lyrics were ruthless and the music was like polished glass and I felt like I was standing in the middle of a cavernous room with mirrors everywhere, echoing, voice bouncing off the walls. The breath started to swell because I was inspired and sort of touched and I suddenly grinned and wanted to do all of the silly things that make me me. I also wanted to be a scene girl because scene girls have the funniest faces and take themselves so seriously and I would laugh to take myself seriously. The room is so shiny and self-fulfilled and thin.

The breath almost always comes out as harmony and minor but sometimes it doesn't come out, it just stays in my chest and grows and grows and I want to go outside so that it has room to expand and the sun shines on my face and the sounds ring in my ears like the echo in the cavernous room. I'm not sure how this is supposed to make me feel but it makes me feel like this. And I feel the onset of 17 and diets and cupcakes and running around in fields with friends and spending money on things that make me happy as a GIRL with an eye for pretty or quirky or so-uncool-it's-cool.

And I'm thinking about all the ways I can play the piano and I don't want to be rich, and I don't want to be famous but I want to spend days with friends driving around green countryside with picnic baskets and running into the sea and doing things I'm afraid of and finding a boy and getting excited everytime he texts me.

I want to pine for my friends and the for the pining to end and I want to eat lettuce all summer long and go to the gym and make friends who like to sing spontaneously and make videos of themselves being ridiculous because let's be honest, nothing else matters.

Turn to the Music:

THE FEAR by Lily Allen http://www.myspace.com/lilymusic

Flu Network

Ah, everyone's favourite annual visitor has finally made its call to me. Hurray I have the flu! Oh joy! I get the Christmas gifts of runny noise, hacking cough, burning throat, painful sinuses, nausea and fever! Golly golly gum drops, lucky me!

Well now I can look forward to a wonderful Christmas under the influence of powerful cough-suppressants! And I have the perfect accessory to such a festive state:  cheery red nose from the constant tissues! 

Last week I played at the UK Yule ball, and looking at the photos I generally look crap in all of them. However, the one that I look okay in features me holding a packet of throat lozenges, and indeed sucking on one. (see above)

If you are unfortunate enough not to have recieved a visit from Mr. Flu, then fear not! Eat all your vegetables, do your homework and be good! He may come to you next year. :)

Turn to the Music:

Nothing like The Hermione Crookshanks Experience to make you happy again, if a little melancholic. I recommend "So Long" which can be found on her Myspace.

UK Yule Ball

I'm a sap. I can't help thinking those thoughts that you might associate with an Christmas movie. They rarely make it out of my mouth, it's true. That's because I am completely aware of how corny and over-the-top I would sound if I said what I was thinking. However, if there were no censor button on me I would spew forth love and ramble greetings card-like lines constantly.

This past week has been no exception to the rule. Spending time (at long last) with my friends in London has had me on the verge of exploding in a shower of cuddles and love all over them. It was great. I had such a good time. The last time I got to spend time with them was in Chicago in August-too long ago by far. 

Leaving was hard. But I've decided not to be sad. Life is too short and I know that. There is a bright side: London is only an hour away on a Ryanair flight. It could be so much worse! Instead of moping I'm planning to have them over for my birthday in January. It will be amazing to have them here and to look after them and show them my life. 

Hopefully the next few weeks will go as quickly with something to look forward to.

Turn to the music:

 This little gem by the effervescent and talented Miss Bella Black from Friday night: